When I was eight my mother decided that we all needed to learn to meditate. By all, I mean myself, my Italian straight-laced dad and my WASP mom. Not what you would call the typical group to head off to a Transcendental center to be given personal mantras but off we went. That was my first introduction into the world of Transformation.
That’s how my childhood went. My debutante like mother was into Adele Davis, organics, La Leche League, animal rights, organic farming, making her own cheese, raising goats, channeling, healing, experiences with the entities…..All with the rules, regulations and wardrobe of Blue Blood society. Confusing indeed. My Italian father did not know what to think. More than once he could be heard to say “Geez Janet, what the hell is that?”
I imagine I confuse others as well. A Reiki healer myself and horse trainer that specializes in ‘damaged horses’ that no one else can get through to. I am also a designer and look more like a fashion ad than a page out of Organic Times. I wear red lipstick to the barn. Love beautiful fabrics and anything that sparkles. Drab is just not part of my vocabulary. On more than one occasion I have been called ‘Fluff’ by a patchouli wearing, sandle footed, yoga devotee that thought my hobbies were shopping, getting my nails done and lunching with the ladies.
I love to joke and write. Many know me from my funny postings and short stories. I don’t think they see me listening to Tibetan chants and feeling moved. Once an interior decorator my home is my nest and I take great joy out of creating a space everyone loves to languish in. I am not about to build a Tee Pee and go live in it for greater awakening. Yet, I use mindfulness to drink in the pattern of the afternoon sky and the smell of warm skin. I garden with great joy and passion. It grounds me to this earth.
Fifty this year I believe I have a measure of wisdom and knowledge. My life is better for what I have studied and apply to my life. Yet, I have been struck by the thought, “Have I just applied this knowledge and used it instead of putting my life within Transformation”? What would that be like? Who would I be? How would my mothering, my designing, my training, my riding, my health, my marriage and everything in my life be affected?
So I have decided to take this year and see what evolves out of taking on and studying many things that I feel are a part of what I am calling ‘A Meditative Life’. Of course I will let the Universe provide me with paths. I will not resist. I don’t know how this is going to look but I am very excited about the prospect of what I may discover. Somehow deep inside I feel this peace that is ever so small. I think it is waiting to be nurtured and fed so it can grow and spread. If that is all that comes of this journey what a blessing that will be. Peace within. Utter bliss.